🧠 Part 2: What If You Notice Too Much?

A follow-up to “When You Don’t Notice Your Needs Until They Scream”

TL;DR:

Not everyone struggles with being disconnected from their needs. Some of us feel everything: the energy in the room, the sound of a fridge humming, the subtext in someone’s tone. But even when you're deeply in tune with the world around you, it doesn’t mean you're connected to yourself. This is the other side of the struggle, and it deserves just as much care.

🧭 The Tension: Over-Aware and Under-Attuned

Some of us live in the push-pull of noticing too much externally and not enough internally.
You might:

• Pick up on everyone’s mood before they even speak
  
  

• Get overwhelmed by noises, smells, or temperature shifts
  
  

• Constantly scan the environment to prevent conflict or discomfort
  
  

• Be exhausted by the time you realize your body’s been screaming for a break
  
  

It’s like your nervous system is an antenna that’s always on. The problem is, it’s never tuned to your own station.

🧠 How Sensory Sensitivity and Hyperattunement Mask Your Needs

When you’re absorbing so much input, your own needs can become invisible in the static.

• You notice your child’s frustration but not your own fatigue
  
  

• You notice the harsh lighting, but not your growing headache
  
  

• You notice someone’s silence, but not your thirst or hunger
  
  

It’s not that you aren’t self-aware. It’s that your system has been trained to prioritize external data over internal signals. And often, this starts early.

🛡 The Survival Link: Hypervigilance and People-Pleasing

For many of us, being hyperattuned was a survival strategy.
We learned:

• If we notice fast enough, we can prevent problems
  
  

• If we stay agreeable and intuitive, we stay safe
  
  

• If we anticipate others' needs, we won’t be abandoned, judged, or punished
  
  

It was smart. It worked. But now it might be costing you your clarity, your energy, and your peace.

And when you’re “doing everything right” (being the intuitive partner, the tuned-in friend, the emotionally aware parent) and you’re still burning out? That’s a sign. Not of failure. But of misaligned direction.

🌍 Real-Life Grounding for Real-Life People

Let’s be honest: traditional grounding advice doesn’t always land.
“Just sit still and breathe” doesn’t work for a nervous system that thrives on movement or sound.

Here are six neurodivergent-friendly ways to help you reconnect with yourself, without turning it into a project or performance.

✋ 1. The Pause + Tap

Place your hand on your chest or thigh and gently tap while asking:
“What just happened?” or “What do I need right now?”
You’re giving your body a cue and offering yourself curiosity instead of criticism.

🎧 2. Headphones = Boundaries

Wear over-ear headphones (with or without sound) as a social cue that you’re unavailable.
Bonus: they muffle overstimulating sounds and prevent people from interrupting your processing.
Especially helpful when the people you live with (like ADHD kids, partners, or roommates) tend to speak impulsively and forget you asked for quiet time.

🧍‍♀️ 3. Body-Based Check-Ins (While Doing Something Else)

Instead of trying to meditate, try asking your body questions while:

• Folding laundry
  
  

• Walking around the block
  
  

• Brushing your teeth
  
  

Movement can help you get honest answers your brain resists when still.

✏️ 4. Externalize with Visual Prompts

Use sticky notes, check-in wheels, or a daily “needs guess list.”
Even if you don’t know exactly what’s wrong, circling maybe tired or maybe lonely creates connection.

🔁 5. Permission to Unplug (Without Explaining)

Practice disengaging emotionally, digitally, or socially without overexplaining or apologizing.
“I’m going to be offline for a bit” or “I’m not available right now” is enough.

🌿 6. A Short Walk in Nature (If You Can)

Being outside, especially near trees, water, or even just fresh air can calm the nervous system fast.
If safe greenspace is available to you, even five minutes outdoors can soften internal noise.
💡 It’s worth naming that not everyone has access to safe, natural space. Like many tools, this one is more available to some than others. That’s not a reflection of effort or worth.

🤝 Co-Regulation, Disengagement, and Self-Respect

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is step away from the noise. That might mean:

• Putting your phone on Do Not Disturb
  
  

• Letting a text sit unanswered
  
  

• Leaving a room that feels too loud, too bright, or too tense
  
  

• Closing the door, literally or figuratively
  
  

Co-regulation doesn’t have to mean clinging to others. It can mean surrounding yourself with calm signals: a quiet room, a pet, a weighted blanket, a playlist that helps your brain stop bracing.

You don’t have to justify your limits to anyone.
Your nervous system is trying to protect you. It deserves your cooperation, not your criticism.

🌟 You’re Allowed to Be Wired This Way

You don’t have to stop being sensitive. You don’t have to un-feel the world.
But you are allowed to turn down the volume and turn your attention inward.
You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to not answer. You’re allowed to forget what someone else needs! Because you need something too.

Learning to honor your humanity isn’t about becoming less.
It’s about remembering that you are someone worth noticing too.

🤍 Heather

Updated:  8-7-25